Pete(r) Doherty’s Albion Forever Crumble

Pete Doherty Crumble
How to chose between cakes and pastries? I can’t tell between cakes and pastries. – The Gourgandines
What if Peter Doherty were a cake ? Which one would he be ? 

A story of Pete and Cakes

For at least endless sleepless nights two minutes, we’ve tried to solve this excruciatingly tricky equation. Of course, a Pete(r) Doherty inspired cake has to be British to the core, with a touch a craziness, a bit of a mess, and let’s face it, a lot of crumbliness. Needless to say, sweet and full of flavors. Turns out, Pete isn’t a pudding, nor a jelly. So…*drum roll* we’re proud to present you the one and only : Peter Doherty’s Albion Crumble Forever. *cheers* *hysterical applause* *astonished praise* Hell yeah. But don’t be mislead sweetheart, we’re not here to make it easy for you. We’re talking about a tribute to Arcady, an idealized vision of Albion, the quintessence of Britishness, a classic recipe but with an extra touch of soul. So get yourself together and let’s go make a crumble the Doherty way.

Peter Doherty’s Albion Forever Crumble


(for 8 crumble addicts)

150g flour

150g soft butter

50g brown sugar

50g sugar

5 apples peeled, cored and cubed

500g blueberries, fresh or frozen, keep the juice aside

500g red berries / red currants / strawberries / raspberries / cherries, fresh or frozen, keep the juice aside

2 sachets of vanilla sugar

a bit of cinnamon

100g grated coconut (#visitthailandwithpete)

and for the coconut flavoured royal icing :

50g egg whites

250g powdered sugar

1 tbsp vanilla extract

A bit of lemon juice

30g grated coconut

  • Time to burn down the house : preheat your oven to 180°C and butter a dish.
  • Drink a beer.
  • Mix the flour, the sugar, the brown sugar.
  • Add the butter, rub gently between your fingers until the dough resembles breadcrumbs.
  • Drink another beer.
  • Separate the dough in two parts : 1/3 for the red color and 2/3 for the blue color
  • Drink a beer. Yup, another one.
  • Color the dough :
    • Pete Doherty 2004 option : a whole tube of red food coloring gel and a whole tube of blue coloring. Not recommended for your body but so much better to impress your friends on Instagram ☠
    • Pete Doherty 2016 healthier option : use the juice from the berries to color your dough blue and red
You might need to add extra flour at this point to obtain the right consistency.
  • Drink, you moron ! Drink !
  • Add the cinnamon, and 1 sachet of vanilla sugar to the apples. Mix well and put them in a dish.
  • Drink a beeeeer.
  • Add 1 sachet of vanilla sugar to the berries.
  • Draw a nice Union Jack with your berries on top of your apples. Don’t skip this part, we are watching you, WE WILL KNOW it if you mess up!
  • Time to have another driiiinkie.
  • Sprinkle the coconut on your work of art.
  • Shrink a deer !
  • Now the masterpiece : make a union jack with the crumble dough. Yep, you heard it right : we made two Union Jacks for one cake. Because we rule.
  • If you’re not drunk yet, put the cake in the oven for 40 minutes. That’s for team healthy. Count 1 hour at 160° for the extra food coloring version. It might seems like forever -just like the intro for Albion- but it’s definitely worth the wait and it will preserve that radioactive glow!
  • Allow your masterpiece to cool down before adding the final touch
  • For the healthy-berry-juice-colored option, gently coat your Union Jack with berry juice with a pastry brush for richer colors.
  • Make some royal icing by mixing egg whites and vanilla until frothy. Add the sugar gently. Then add the lemon and the coconut. Use the icing to complete your Union Jack design with a pastry bag.

Congrats mate and God save the Pete!

Just like our dear Peter, this crumble works well on its own, but is even better with company.Which leads us to this burning question : is Carl Barât more of an ice cream? A delicate sorbet? Sour cream, whipped cream or maybe creme fraiche?Pete Doherty Crumble

Pete Doherty Crumble
Pete Doherty Crumble

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